It has been an outstanding week here at Camp Buckman. Rhonda Moffatt
delivered an "address" at The Hall of the Great one, entitled "The Days
of the Week: why they are our friends." Rhonda insists that the entire
program was made up of echoes she has heard speaking to her from Yonder
Canyon, and we do not feel that it is our place to either confirm or
contradict this claim as we have heard some of our own disembodied
echoes at times, especially on a Saturday night walking home from
Sparky's. Anyway, Rhonda's point was that the days of the week,
especially to a person living alone, are sometimes all we have to lean
on, or look forward to, or define our lives by. Each day, apparently,
has a different personality, all it's own, that distinguishes it from
the others. I won't give the whole thing away, because at some point,
The Chronicle is planning to print the speech in it's entirety. I will
say that while interviewing Rhonda over a cup of her coffee [which, by
the way, is so weak you have to help it out of the cup] she did say that
while Sunday is her favorite day, that the echoes seem to feel, as most
of us do, that Monday sucks; and has no redeeming value whatsoever, and
should probably be eliminated except that that would ruin the especially
delicate relationship that one has with Tuesday. We here at The
Chronicle are delighted by these "addresses" by our own Campers and
would encourage any of you that would like to speak in the future, to
just pick a date, post it on the Message Board, and we'll be there to
listen, laugh, and applaud, if need be, anything you have to say
........Reported for the Chronicle by: J D Lister-Spirit World Correspondant

Rupert Marley heard The Echoes.Rupert Marley heard The Echoes, and they
let him know he was still alive; unless they were angels, but he didn't
think so. Rupert had fallen and he couldn't get up, and there's probably
nothing worse than being out by Yonder Canyon, alone and afraid, and
laying in the rocks.But when Rupert heard The Echoes, he figured he'd be
okay.They were saying something about Tuesday. He couldn't quite make it
out so he cocked his ear, which is awfully difficult, and if not done
correctly, can really hurt alot. He heard, "Tuesday is alot like Monday,
except that we're stronger for having gone through Monday. It's like
when you were sixteen,Rupert,[they actually said his name!!] and you
went to the campgrounds where your fourteen year old girlfriend was
babysitting. The second night was rough, but boy, it was alot better
than that first night, wasn't it? That first night was all crying and
NO NO NO yes NO yes NO yes and then finally yes yes YES.....The second
night was more no no yes YES YES...You were both stronger for having
lived through that first night at the campgrounds, and that's what
Tuesday is like."So, as I said before, Rupert Marley heard The Echoes,
and he so wanted to tell The Chronicle, that he uncocked his ear,
gathered up his barbecubes, and crawled all the way to our office,which
was, of course,closed. I found him on the doorstep on Monday morning,
which, of couse, sucked. But Rupert was okay; he had just had what alot
of us have, now and again, a little too much Sparky's, which, of course,
was fine, as long as you didn't fall down. Some folks say there's no
such thing as too much Sparky's, and some folks say that there are no
Echoes at Yonder Canyon; but we know better on both counts, don't we,
boys and girls?
J D Lister-Spirit World Correspondant

In a deposition filed today at the courthouse, Ruta Marley has claimed
that she saw Reverend J Alfred Buckman walking away from Yonder Canyon
last Sunday night, the same night Ruta's husband, Rupert reportedly
heard The Echoes while laying semi-conscious near the canyon. It is
well known in the village that Buckman has been despondent of late,
and has been talking of stepping down, or stepping it up, or at least
taking some steps in any direction but the one he's been heading in.
Reverend Buckman has been disturbed that his sermonettes at The Hall of
The Great One have not been attended as well as the Hazy Davey shows at
Sparky's. Sparky's has Always outdrawn Buckman even without Hazy, so
we're not sure what this particular snit is really about. It could be
that many Campers have realized that the messages of Hazy Davey
have more to say to their particular lives and problems than do the
ravings of this longhaired middle aged crazy talking about barbecubes
and Miles Davis and piers and peer groups or whatever. Anyway, folks,
no charges have been filed because nobody around the courthouse really
cares too much about this sort of thing and no law has really been
broken; only that delicate thing called trust has been broken and that
may take a while to heal up this time. Buckman has lost our trust
before, God knows, but every time it happens it is still a shock because
we tend to love the old goat so much, and despite what he thinks, we
really look to him to be our Rock in times of trouble. Well, anyway,
boys and girls, at least The Echoes mystery has been solved for now.
It's kind of a shame, though that it's over; I've enjoyed it and hope
to continue to bring you more metaphysical news just as soon as it
happens again as I know that it will....
J D Lister-Spirit World Correspondant

You know, sometimes we're like three different people, at least if you're like me. Sometimes we're so discouraged and have endured misery for so long that we're not even aware of any other possible existence. Or sometimes we are so busy struggling to survive and keep our heads above water, we don't even have time to think about other possibilities. Or sometimes we're so busy consuming life in the present that we don't even think about the future or the bills that will come due, financial or otherwise........Something I've been able to do about it is move to Camp Buckman; here I can be what I am, an opinionated old Hippie with a lotta feelings and alot to say. But oh, those jobs we all used to have; the kind that bludgeon your body and close up your mind; the kind of jobs that strip your soul of all that is good, and leave a skeleton behind...useless to yourself or anyone else...And so, you drink, or sniff, or take pills or anything that will get you through another night, waiting for another day that will come all too soon, and you will have to go into That Place and have your pride and feelings and spirit stepped on and crushed once again.....But,the answer I think, must be Faith; faith in yourself and faith in whatever it is that you choose to believe in that can lift you up, make you soar, make you be you again, MAKE YOU WHOLE AGAIN.........Rev J Alfred Buckman --Spirit World Columnist

Do you remember, as a little child losing your mom at a big shopping center or a mall? Do you remember as a parent looking for your child all night long, not stopping to eat or sleep, because you were afraid that you would miss them? Well, this is how it feels now, to be lost in a world of sin and degradation, with no hope of salvage, no hope of ever finding the right way home, no hope, no hope……. Do you remember, that time at the beach, almost drowning, far from shore, no hope ,no hope, no hope…….. But, always remember, those of us who are still here; we were always found, we were always saved, we were always Hoped For…..The Lord had a plan for us that we didn't even know about, and probably still don't, but that doesn't make it any less of a plan. It doesn't matter what You believe, it matters what He believes, and you know what, campers? He is never gonna leave you, no matter what. So put that in that pipe and light it up.……Buckman Out……

 Reverend J Alfred Buckman has taken a short leave............
of his sanity. And so while he cannot deliver the touching little
sermonettes we here at Camp Buckman are so fond of, we thought
we'd bring you some of the Rev's favorite quotes from around the
world that he collects and uses occasionally in his talks with
himself and occasionally with others............

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness......Call on God,
but row away from the rocks.........

The church is near,but the way is icy. The tavern
is far, but I will walk carefully........

When love is not madness,
it is not love............

Don't speak unless you can improve on
the silence............

Don't think there are no crocidiles because the water is calm.........

We must learn our limits. We are all
something, but none of us are everything.......

When one shuts one eye, one does not hear

Fear less, hope more, Eat less, chew more,
Whineless, breathe more, Talk less, say more, Hate less, love more,
And all good things will be yours.............

It is good to know the truth,
but it is better to speak of PALM TREES....
Greetings...... As the randomly chosen,divinely inspired and immaculately attired apostle that stands before you this wonderful day, I am elated to welcome you to Camp Buckman, and encourage you to enjoy the fruits that have been laid before you by the camp draughtsman, the blessed Hughster and his lovely assistant, Sweetie. For those of you expecting the normal hellfire and brimstone message so often delivered by my father,the Reverend Henry T Buckman, let me tell you that while I still believe that is the fate for most of you,I don't feel that this time or this lovely setting are the proper forum to remind you that your deeds in the sixties and seventies will surely result in eternal damnation and the burning fires of Lucifer. It is not my duty now to bring up the fact that living for one's own hedonistic desires or striving to follow any stray bushwhacker with a robe and a tent, will cause your eternity to be one of endless struggle to just catch a breath of cool,sweet,fresh air.No,No Nanette,that is not why I am here today.I have in my past,alternately believed in the Baby Jesus, Captain Morgan, Ron Bacardi, the small, delicately hairy portion of a woman's back, and Winnie-the-Pooh, but at this point in my life, I have been smitten with the Lord Jesus Christ, crucified, buried in a tomb, and risen again to deliver each and every one of us to that sacred beach where the Father will welcome us to our own Heavenly Mansion on a street paved with gold. Now, I tell you this by way of introduction to myself, so that in future sermons there will be no doubt where my heart lies or my crow flies. I think now that we should spend a little time indulging in the minor sin of gluttony at the Lunch Wagon followed up by enjoying whatever fine music Sarah has planned for us at the Hard Rock Cave, the Camp's answer to The Roxy, The Bottom Line and yes, even Denny's. Please feel free to wander the beautiful Wonder Gardens and to visit the magnificent Hall of the Great One before the marshmallow roasting and night badminton activities that have been planned for you. Just remember, please, until we meet again, to air is Jordan, but to forgive is divine. Thanks for stoppin by and please feel the spirit moving you as the collection plate is passed around. You know, I appreciate all the nickels, dimes, and quarters, but it's those fives, tens and twenties that will allow you to bask in the undying admiration of your neighbors, like a Mercedes in your driveway. Please feel free to call on me if there are any questions about our future meetings or if you just need a shoulder to lean on. My spirit is sometimes weak,but my back is strong and I am always available for consultation or heavy lifting, whichever you need. I remain, your humble servant, Rev J. Alfred Buckman, D.D.,A.A.,ASCAP,BMI...(4-17-98)
Buckman felt that Hughsterville looked like a great
place to stop for awhile,for maybe,oh,a change of life
or maybe a pair of shoes for his blistered feet.You
see,Buckman had been running barefoot since about
Utah,and the change of life had been due for some
time now.In fact, it had been begging to be due, or
do be do be due, for as long as he could
remember.It's not that the future Reverend was
Bad,or Sinned a lot,it's just that everywhere he went
there were always people that Thought he was bad or
sinned a lot.Running had become a way of life and as
I said before,due be do be due…..But this barefoot
stuff[after he was run out of his shoes in Utah] was
getting tiring,and Buckman had heard of a place called
Shoesterville……Oh well,you can already see what
happened….That's right,gentle folk,a simple mistake
of hearing or a little phlegm in someone's throat is
what has caused us to have the pleasure of J Alfred
Buckman's company all these years.This rare shot of
Buckman was seen by one person and one person
only,the town draughtsman,Hughster;and he recorded
it for the Chronicle,even though no such record
existed then…..What you are seeing now is a time-
lapsed painting [because time has lapsed] of the scene
as it was then.Thank God for Hughster,or we'd all
have to continue to believe that Buckman was always
this fat old man that just rails at us from the pull pit
every Sunday or so.It was not always so,as you can
see from the suspenders that the young Buckman is
sporting,he was definitely someone to be reckoned
with.Somewhat of a rumour in his own time,and a
possible legend in his own room [if the lighting was
right],Buckman had run since at least the top of the
page,and was plain wore out.Shoesterville seemed as
good a place as any to put down his roots or find his
boots or do some toot[oh I am sorry,sometimes I
forget myself,and I know that there is a lynch mob
waiting for anyone that even mentions
THAT].Anyway,this seemed as good a place as any to
put it into low and just cruise awhile,and so he
did……And that's probably all the explanation you're
going to get…..for now…   Havinanisdaa Vishnuverhere-

These bumper stickers have started to bother me. Not all of them, just the "Christian" ones. You know, " HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS" or " TO BE RELIGIOUS IS NATURAL, TO BE A CHRISTIAN IS SUPERNATURAL" or even " MY OTHER RELIGION IS A MERCEDES". Okay so I made the last one up, but you know what I mean. What does any of this have to do with being "abandoned to Christ" as we're instructed to do. Put a bumper sticker on your car to save a person from Hell? You should be SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!!!!! J Alfred Buckman- Spirit World Correspondent
For those of you,who upon visiting our beautiful camp,desire to move here permanently,remember
that many are called,but few actually get to dance.The spiritual value of living here is great,but
so also is the price,in a metaphysical,bump -in-the-night kind of way.I can't really explain it in
words,but twice in my memory it has been expressed so well that I will leave it to Their words to
tell you.........First, our dear saviour,Jesus,in the Garden,when He prayed to the Father and
said,"O my Father,if this cup may not pass away from me,except I drink it,thy will be done." And
secondly,by our dear brother Pat Garrett,who within earshot of Mr Dylan,prayed,"Momma take this
badge away from me,I can't use it anymore....."And I hope that explains it,because as A A Milne
said,that's all the explanation you will get....J. Alfred Buckman,D.D.,A.A.,ASCAP,BMI.............                    Next Page